A close friend of mine sadly lost her father two years ago today. We were honored by being invited to attend the funeral and while much of it was familiar there were some traditions that set it apart too. Among these were the skullcaps the men wore and the attendees scooping the dirt on top of the lowered coffin following the service.
In an effort to honor his memory I made note to observe the Yhartzeit (anniversary of his death). As I understood it you light a special candle the evening before and recite a prayer. The next day on the anniversary you visit their grave and leave a stone to acknowledge the day. This symbolize that they live on in your memory and that you care enough to visit and keep their spirit alive.
Being the gentiles that we are I've messed up nearly every aspect of this from observing it on the wrong day (apparently it moves according to the Hebrew calendar) and we left comically large stones from our garden. Luckily my friend is understanding and has helped provide insight so we can do better next year. At least Amazon sells the candle I need (even though I burned it on the wrong day lol).
5/2/2021